I'm wasted on my peers.

Yesterday, I started to doubt my comedy genius. I'm convinced I'm the next Andy Kaufman, really I am, but I tried to make the same brilliant joke yesterday THREE times, with THREE different people, and in THREE different ways, but all I got was blank looks. It's ridiculous.

While they are two very sad news story's, the troubles in Gaza, and the alcohol-fueled absconding of Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne, you can't ignore who similar Gaza and Gazza are. Hilarity must ensue! Surely!

Ok, attempt #1 : 0745hrs : Wife :

She says to me "It's terrible what has happened to Gazza isn't it?" So I saw my chance, and responded with lightning quick reflexes, normally reserved for serpents. "Yeah, but to be fair, he keeps firing his home-made rockets at Israel..." She looked at me like she'd caught me arm wrestling a panda. After a long explanation, she still didn't even raise a smile. 0-1

Attempt #2 : 1235hrs : Colleague A :

Staff room, lunchtime, she says "I don't know which side's worse in Gaza" I respond, more cautiously this time, making sure I make the most of the opportunity. " With alcoholism, there's never a winning side." Not as good as response 1, but, I had a bigger audience, so I held out a bit more hope... NOTHING! Nobody even gave what I said a second look! Shitehawks.

Final Attempt : 15:50 : Colleague B:

My office, she says "The problems in Gaza are getting worse aren't they?" This was it, I could feel it, my final chance. I had to make this one count. The heat was on. I paused for breath, and thought long and hard about my retort. Finally, I felt good about it, I felt the time was right, my gag was good, clever, witty, insightful. I had it. Time to cease the moment...

"Not as bad as your FACE! Hahahaha! BURN!

The pressure was just too much.