It's been a while since I entered into one-way conversation with you. I have had to do the whole Christmas thing, apologies. So what's happened in the last fortnight?
Jeff Buckley made number 2 in the Christmas chart, a massive achievement in my eyes, didn't really stand a chance against the might of the Cowell Publicity Machine and legions of retarded mini-bopper pre-teens. I'm not really sure what we need to do next year to prevent another Pop-Factor number 1 at Christmas, but the current plan involves a goose, some ice cream and a selection of biscuits. *winks* You might want to stay out of Southampton, if you know what I mean. Nothing to do with the plan, it's just a shithole.
What's next? Erm, Christmas Telly! Yeah! Didn't watch any. Oh, except the latest Wallace and Grommit short film "A Matter of Loaf and Death." It was, as always, very good, and seemed to look more roughly animated than the third, looking a little more like the original film. Which I liked, as it retained much more of its character. The story was clever, but felt extremely rushed in the short-film format. The expressions on Grommit's face are usually the highlight of these things, and this was no different. And the scene where he is deciding where to throw the bomb is genius!
The only other thing worthy of a mention was Elton John on New Years Eve. Oh. My. Effing. God. What has happened to his voice? He was in tune, fair enough, but could he not be bothered with punctuating? As he slurred through "Daniel" and "I Guess That's Why They Call it The Blues," which I don't mind confessing is one of my favorite songs, I wondered to myself, Haven't they made Kerry Katona look a lot like Sir Elton?
It was frightening! Terrifying! Shocking! Ok, I'm overdoing it, but it was terrible. He didn't seem to be able to pause between words, instead he seemed to be attempting to show the world what he'd look like as a stroke victim.
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