Hunting in Packs

Why is it whenever I go shopping, every feral mongoloid family in a hundred mile radius goes shopping at the same time? I was in a shop yesterday, and found it impossible to walk down a single aisle without my way being blocked by a pack of rabid, bargain hungry swamp dwellers. The great unwashed of the area seem to congregate in clans at any inconvenient place. With the clan leader in the middle whooping and hollering at his pack of unwashed offspring, as he feels he must as both their father and uncle.  His canine satellites hollering back in a language only they and their brethren can understand.  He sends out the pack one by one to do his bidding, collecting first the Kestrel Super, next the SmartPrice Whiskey.  Slowly his plan comes together with each trip of his infantile slaves make to and from the mobile command post his Reubenesque wives have set up by the Branston pickle.

I appreciate that people need to go shopping, and as much as I'd like the idiots to go at a different time to myself, they clearly don't want to comply. So, all I am asking, is that either the minimum amount of people go in, or the children you bring with you are chained to the trolly.

You may think that this is an extreme measure, but if they are chained to the trolly, there is a much slimmer chance that they are walking side by side blocking the whole aisle. I'd prefer it if children were staked neatly outside the shop for later retrieval, obviously, but I'm trying to compromise, and I think you should meet me half way, ok?

The shops also have a lot to answer to. Why do they make the aisles so narrow? At least make them big enough for your own frigging trollies to pass each other.  Then, the geniuses decide to place piles of crap all over the floor so that even one trolly struggles to make it's way down.

You may not realise, but I'm not a big fan of supermarkets. But needs must, so we go every week, expecting more and more of the backward banjo players that inhabit the corridors of groceries in every town, and we leave disappointed time and time again.

Shop online? It's a fiver! What do you think I am? Mad?