Ah

It may have been a little quiet on here lately, mainly due to the fact that I've been in totally agony for a while. I had a "routine voluntary surgery." Which is the polite way of saying I opted to let a surgeon loose on my gonads with a scalpel.

You may be thinking "I wonder why any sane man would do that?" and at this point, I'm thinking the same thing, but that is only because my children are currently tucked up asleep in bed. If they were running riot around my ankles, the pain in my strides would be more than worth it.

However, the point is this. I decided I was a big tough guy. I decided I was going to have the operation under local anaesthetic. Perhaps i should have paid more attention to the doctor at my pre-op appointment. I (wrongly) assumed that the "local" part of a local anesthetic would be you know, the groin area. Local to where I was being operated on. I was massively optimistic. In this case, local meant local to exactly where I was having surgery. Local to the tubes I was having snipped and cauterised. Unfortunately for me, they'd have probably been better going in the back door to find my tubes. They were so near the back that before I even had the anesthetic, I was in excruciating agony.

All this after waiting for four hours, in a backless robe, surrounded by the recovering patients before me, nothing to eat, drink, or do. From walking down to theatre to leaving to go home was 45 minutes. Tops. And for 44 of those minutes, I was having my scrotum manipulated like a top shelf Stretch Armstrong.

So, you know, great weekend.