I happen to be an extremely talented musician, not to mention my skills in Falconry and Marmot Flinging. (Shut up RSPCA, they like it.) As a musical savant, I also happen to be capable of developing intense hatred towards less talented people who get famous. I'm looking at you Alesha Dixon. (Who?)
Her first single from her second album, "The Boy does Nothing" is quite possibly the ultimate in evil. EVIL!
First off, I have no clue who she is. And this is her second album, apparently. Her first album must have been monstrously successful eh? Well, no, of course not, but thanks to her appearance on "Strictly Come Dancing" her latest single is getting more airplay than the Radio 2 pips.
So what is it that I don't like about it? Well, the biggest thing is that whenever it gets played on the radio, It's in my head for the rest of the day. Not because I like it, no, but because it's brainwashing me. Let me put this into perspective. Since an unknown date, a long long time ago, I have had Mud's "It'll be lonely this Christmas" in my head. I mean, really in my head, RIGHT IN THERE. Whenever I'm not thinking about something, I've got this song going round and round in my head. So, now you appreciate how much Alesha's monotonous whining about her man never "brushing up" is taking over my brain.
This song is ridiculously bad. It's like nothing we've heard since the 1920's, with it's Mamboesque rhythm, and nonsensical lyrics, she is clearly cashing in on her "Strictly" success. Even the video is some patched together rubbish involving her dancing with a load of inadequate male partners.
This song was written by Brian Higgins, who is responsible for all 17 of Girls Aloud's hit singles. Which, when you think about it makes sense. All of the Girls songs have had the same nonsensical lyrics, addictive melodies and old-school rhythms. So what is it that makes Alesha Dixon's song so annoying when it actually follows the same formula as Girls Aloud's hits ranging from acceptable to damn good?
Sorry Alesha, it's you. I'm sorry, there's no other difference. You should retire, and let Mr Higgins get back to writing pop classics like "The Promise," and let me get back to Mud and Marmot Flinging.
1 comment:
Haha! She was originally from Mis-tique... a 3 girl R'n'GAY pop group type thing. They were quite good, although they annoyed the hell out of me.
Don't diss Girls Aloud... although, there new song is questionable, and I agree with the lyrics... WTF?!
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